Throughout the course of ones life we meet thousands of people. Some acquaintances, some for only a fleeting moment or two, some we will know all our lives. Outside of family, those we know for any great length of time we call "Friends". Some we consider closer than others due to the duration of time and the manner in which we share experiences. Close friends are also those which we may not see for extended periods of time, yet it's the characteristic of your shared experience which determines the closeness you feel to one another. What determines the value we place on friendship? Why is it so important to us?
Inherently we are not solitary creatures. we have parents that incorporate us into the dynamic of family from the earliest stages of our lives. In fact, at these earliest stages we are completely dependent upon our parents for EVERYTHING. As life progresses within that dynamic we develop relationships with extended family and we enter into a broader dynamic and when we are deemed old enough to handle it, we are pushed off to school and enter the realm of community; ever increasing in complexity as our age progresses. Granted there are the exceptions to this progression, but as a rule we tend to travel in this sort of pattern.
All along the way we place value upon the individuals that we experience. The things we share, the good times and the bad, determine our level of dependency and independence with each person in our experience, but it's how we place this value upon them that is more important overall. A proper balance must be achieved in order for true friendship to flourish. Allowing negative influences in ones dynamic to repeatedly reoccur will eventually destroy the health of the relationship, turning friendship into an empty void.
Our spouses are a good example of how this works. We fall in love and get married for better or for worse, etc.. The dual nature of this very important relationship allows for each side to have both dependence and independence. One can investigate the biblical rule as to what each spouses role is in the dynamic and it usually works out right, so long as we stick by the rules. A certain amount of give and take is necessary to make it flourish. A domineering husband or wife will reap the benefits of their unfair application of control over the other. Usually not resulting in the outcome they ultimately desired, a union with mutual submission and obligation.
The golden rule is a good rule of thumb when looking for the optimum path to the balance I had mentioned earlier. "Do unto others as you would have done to you". This puts us into a balanced dynamic in all relationships. We, being human, need and desire relationships that have this ultimate value. So often we forget that its not about our needs its about the needs of others that really sets the scales to right.
Needing friendship is as second nature to us as needing air to breathe, without air we will quickly approach the end of the line. Dirty air just quickens the pace leading us into poor health. Lasting friendship is first achieved only with a healthy inner compassion. A willingness to please others unconditionally without seeking compensation. The random acts of kindness produce the most astounding results. A selfless act benefits the self in unsurpassed blessing. The rain falls from the sky, not because it is obligated to nurture the earth, but because it is compelled by its nature to replenish the earth for what it has taken. This symbiosis is an example of an ultimately divine and harmonious relationship.
Inherently we are not solitary creatures. we have parents that incorporate us into the dynamic of family from the earliest stages of our lives. In fact, at these earliest stages we are completely dependent upon our parents for EVERYTHING. As life progresses within that dynamic we develop relationships with extended family and we enter into a broader dynamic and when we are deemed old enough to handle it, we are pushed off to school and enter the realm of community; ever increasing in complexity as our age progresses. Granted there are the exceptions to this progression, but as a rule we tend to travel in this sort of pattern.
All along the way we place value upon the individuals that we experience. The things we share, the good times and the bad, determine our level of dependency and independence with each person in our experience, but it's how we place this value upon them that is more important overall. A proper balance must be achieved in order for true friendship to flourish. Allowing negative influences in ones dynamic to repeatedly reoccur will eventually destroy the health of the relationship, turning friendship into an empty void.
Our spouses are a good example of how this works. We fall in love and get married for better or for worse, etc.. The dual nature of this very important relationship allows for each side to have both dependence and independence. One can investigate the biblical rule as to what each spouses role is in the dynamic and it usually works out right, so long as we stick by the rules. A certain amount of give and take is necessary to make it flourish. A domineering husband or wife will reap the benefits of their unfair application of control over the other. Usually not resulting in the outcome they ultimately desired, a union with mutual submission and obligation.
The golden rule is a good rule of thumb when looking for the optimum path to the balance I had mentioned earlier. "Do unto others as you would have done to you". This puts us into a balanced dynamic in all relationships. We, being human, need and desire relationships that have this ultimate value. So often we forget that its not about our needs its about the needs of others that really sets the scales to right.
Needing friendship is as second nature to us as needing air to breathe, without air we will quickly approach the end of the line. Dirty air just quickens the pace leading us into poor health. Lasting friendship is first achieved only with a healthy inner compassion. A willingness to please others unconditionally without seeking compensation. The random acts of kindness produce the most astounding results. A selfless act benefits the self in unsurpassed blessing. The rain falls from the sky, not because it is obligated to nurture the earth, but because it is compelled by its nature to replenish the earth for what it has taken. This symbiosis is an example of an ultimately divine and harmonious relationship.
1 comments:
Curt I really enjoyed this piece a lot...thank you for sharng it...
Michele F.
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